As my friends know, one of my favorite bands of all-time is Life of Agony. They are a band that has had many glimpses of success but they have never seemed to be able to capitalize on it. As their name suggests, the members of the band have many stories to tell and their lyrics are practically a therapeutic diary for singer Keith Caputo who was a victim of abuse and, as a child, watched his parents succumb to drug addictions, among other things. To say that he has “issues” would likely be a massive understatement but he always sang things that I could relate to in some way and the music brought the lyrics to life in profound ways.
I don’t know Keith Caputo at all. I’ve met him a few times and he was always super-gracious to me. I’ve interviewed Life of Agony a few times over the years as well and you won’t find a more down-to-Earth, nicer bunch of guys in the music industry. They are stand up guys all-around and Keith always means what he sings as far as I can tell. These are simply my thoughts as a distant observer.
I read online today that Caputo has “transitioned” into being a woman, dubbing herself KeithMina Caputo from here on out. I was pretty shocked at first, but after considering his public history as well as his move to Amsterdam a few years back, I suppose it’s not a huge surprise. I can see why someone with such deep scars would want to become someone else after suffering so much pain, particularly so early in life.
What I was left thinking about though was how so many people eventually give in and make their own personal demons their friends in an effort to either disconnect from their own histories or reconnect with what they perceive was a better point in their life. The things that drag us down or take us to places we actually don’t want to go to are nicknamed “demons” for a reason. An alcoholic doesn’t refer to alcohol as his a “personal demon” because he feels like it benefits him or his life. A drug addict would probably not tell you that crystal meth makes her life better. The things that drag us down have been given a negative connotation for a reason….they hurt us. They blind us. They keep us from realizing who we were made to be.
Now, what I’m not saying is that transgender, etc. people are evil. I can see how that could be drawn from this writing though, so I want to make that very clear. What I am saying is that people with deep-seeded issues don’t think clearly and they try to make their “demons” their friends. It’s like the old saying goes, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” The funny thing is that that saying is completely wrong and anyone who has tried to do that will be the first to testify that it doesn’t work.
I don’t really have much to say here other than my heart is sad today. Keith Caputo’s words have gotten me through some very trying times in my life. I wish only the best for him and his new life as a woman but I can’t shake the feeling that this can only end poorly simply because it’s treating a symptom instead of the cause. If your heart hurts, changing your outside won’t help. I hope Caputo finds what he’s looking for and I hope that he finds the cause instead of dwelling on the symptom.
